


Write in the Heart - you've left me speechless

by EveningRose



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 10:16:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10683258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EveningRose/pseuds/EveningRose
Summary: Soulmate AU where Jake and Amy communicate through writing letters to each other as they grow up."Her soulmate is someone with incredibly messy writing, it’s so messy it almost escapes the lines and is difficult to read. Amy seriously doubts the ability of the soulmate council - or whatever group of people it is who somehow magically assign people to their soulmates - to accurately match people if they’ve matched her with someone who is already the polar opposite of her in hand-writing."





	Write in the Heart - you've left me speechless

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so some quick notes on this - Imagine the notebooks to be like Tom Riddle's Diary in HP 2 - Chamber of Secrets, where you can watch the writing 'sink into the page', but in this universe it stays on the page and is saved there forever.
> 
> Second, I've been pretty vague on the soulmate assigning council, but they're just a group of people who determine people's soulmates based on their preferences, personality and complimenting traits. It's all ~magical~ so you're just gonna have to go with me on this one and deal with sparse details and specifics about it!
> 
> Shoutout to @elsaclack, Em you are amazing and perfect and I could not have done this marathon without you. Also shout outs to Erica @startofamoment for being Soulmate AU trash and helping me with great enthusiasm, Michelle @peraltiagoisland for being the most excited person ever and dying over sneak-peeks, and Natasha @arachnistar for being the cutest person who also feeds me with excitement and gushing. You're all jewels! Ok, enjoy guys!

Amy knows about the concept before her time, because she watches her brothers get their notebooks, and sees them struggling to put their first words on paper.

She knows because she listens to the stories from the older kids at school, sitting in the library as the conversations flow through the window.

And she can’t wait for the day that her parents sit her down and pass on her notebook, because she really wants to stop feeling so alone.

It’s stupid, that a person with seven siblings can feel alone. But Amy is the only girl and she has to constantly keep up with her brothers in order to hang out with them, and none of the kids at school like her because she’s really into study and a little bit quiet, and when she’s invited to play games she mercilessly dominates and wins (thanks to the competitive streak she’s picked up from her brothers).

So the other kids stop inviting her to play games, and she spends all the time she can hanging around the teachers because they appreciate how organised and studious she is.

Her brothers hang out with her when they can, but they have their own groups of friends who roll their eyes when Amy gets dragged along and she really hates feeling like the odd one out.

So she waits for her notebook to come, because she wants a connection that’s meant to be, rather than something she has because her brothers pity her.

The day that her parents present Amy her very own small black leather bound notebook, she almost cries.

Because she’s waited years for this moment, and it’s a little too much for her fourteen year old self to handle. On top of the stress from her studies, she’s been wishing so much for someone to talk to. And it’s being handed to her.

Her parents give her the speech that accompanies being handed her soulmate notebook, and the rules involved. She can’t mention her name or location, or try to arrange a meet up as the information won’t send through. All of the letters that she sends and receives will be stored in the notebook, for a keepsake. And lastly, only she and her soulmate can view the letters written within. To everyone else, the pages look blank.

Her soulmate could be anyone. Sometimes it doesn’t match lovers, it can match best friends, or people who become like extended family. Alvaro wrote letters to a guy the same age as him – David - who’s become part of the family. It’s like having another brother, and the two share interests so much that it’s almost like talking to the same person at times.

She knows the rules, because she’s listened in on at least two of her older brother’s talks when they got their books, and watched them sit at their desks chewing their pencils as they thought of what to start with.

Amy isn’t one to be impatient, in fact she’s so incredibly patient that she doesn’t leave class until well after the bell because she waits for the teachers to finish speaking before even starting to pack up her stuff, but as she waits for her parents to hand over her notebook she’s almost bouncing on her feet.

She’s so excited.

So when her parents finally hand over the notebook, she tears off to her room to write her first letter.

She picks her favourite pen, the blue one that glides over paper and doesn’t leave ink blots on the page, and poises it over the very first page. She’s so nervous and so excited that her heart is pounding in her ears, so she takes a deep breath and thinks.

_Hi,_

_I guess I’m your soulmate. To me, that’s really exciting. It's night time where I am right now, what is it where you are? (It’s Tuesday evening here.)_

_I like learning things, a lot. I read heaps of books and take my studies really seriously. My favourite colour is orange, because it’s bright and warm. I want a cat, but my parents say we have too much going on in the house, so we can’t._

_I’m really excited to learn more about you. I hope that’s not weird._

_I’m sorry this letter is short, but it’s a start._

Confident, she sits back and watches the words sink into the page. 

Closing the book, she tries to tear her gaze off it and instead applies herself to doing next week’s homework.

\--

Jake gets his soulmate notebook a few days before his fifteenth birthday. Unimpressed by having to write, his excitement is somewhat dulled.

“Do you have to write letters? Can’t you just have a cool telepathic connection or something?” Jake asks his mum, who shakes her head.

“No, honey. The writing is a very special part of it. You’ll get used to it.” Karen Peralta ruffles his hair and hands him the notebook, and Jake sighs.

“If you say so.”

He’s never been a big writer, partially because the teachers all pull faces at his writing and circle errors with red pen, leaving question marks on the page. But he is still excited about being able to talk to his soulmate, even if it means writing. Gina has been going on and on about how excited she is writing to her soulmate, a girl who she can’t stop talking about – a fact which drives Jake crazy.

So he sprawls down on his bed and studies the book, examining how the slim line that travels down the spine glows silver. He knows that means he has a letter already, which is good for him because he doesn’t have to try writing the first one.

He wonders if he’ll write enough to be a good soulmate pen-pal. It’s not like he needs a soulmate. He’s got Gina, and she more than makes up for his Dad’s shortcomings, giving him a crucial support network.

Although his Dad has promised to come to Jake’s birthday party on the weekend and Jake is so excited. He’s been building up to it for three weeks, ever since his mum told him the news.

Opening the book, he finds a letter scrawled on the first page and stares at it. The handwriting is so neat and perfect that it’s better than most of his teachers, and it might be the prettiest writing he’s ever seen. But he won’t tell Gina that, because she’d hit him with her bag.

He reads the letter, and then re-reads it four times.

His soulmate has to be a girl, based on how neat the writing is but then he’s seen some of the boys writing in his class and a couple of them have exceptionally neat writing.

He scrabbles around his room for a pen, or a pencil – anything really, and eventually finds a black pen tucked away somewhere in his school bag.

He sits and stares at the blank page for a long time before he raises his pen to it. 

_Hey._

He sits back and stares at the page some more, trying to figure out what he’s going to write next. As he does the word sinks into the paper and he panics.

His soulmate is going to think he’s the lamest person ever for just sending one word. He scrambles to write more on the page, hoping that his soulmate isn’t reading the only word he sent them at this very moment.

_It’s also night time where I am, which means I have to do homework and then go to bed early for school both of which I don’t wanna do. I guess we live in the same city huh? That’s pretty neat. I really like orange soda, and my favourite colour is green like the Ninja Turtles. If I could be any of the Ninja Turtles I’d be Donatello, because he has the coolest name and wears purple. Which Ninja Turtle would you be?_

_I hate studying and reading but I love movies! Die Hard is my absolute favourite movie and I’d watch it every day if I could. I like gummy bears, and we don’t have any pets either because my mum doesn’t want any. She says I’m enough to take care of already although I really want a puppy because they’re super fun to play with. P.s Are you a girl? You have really neat handwriting and I’m running a bet with myself._

He finishes writing and looks at the page, and then realises how lame he sounds. This is his soulmate! The person he’s meant to connect with on a different level, and have a special relationship with - and he’s talking about Ninja Turtles.

But then he remembers that his dad was meant to be his mum’s soulmate and he ran away.

Shoving his notebook in his drawer, he hopes that his soulmate won’t leave him but can tell already that they’re going to be opposites. They sound clever and hard-working, listed study as a hobby and loves books, while Jake - he’s the cruisiest he can be.

He knows that the girls from his grade pass him up for other more serious boys, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he only ever gets one letter from his soulmate and never finds them.

Forgetting about the book, he finds his Gameboy in the drawer he’s stuffing it into and pulls out the Tetris cartridge as he pushes the notebook to the back. He spends the rest of the night lying on his bed playing Tetris.

\--

Amy snatches her book off the desk the minute the spine glows silver, opening it to stare at the page as writing appears on it. It’s really interesting to watch the words form, as the pen strokes finalise on the page.

 _Hey._ The word comes through and sits at the top of the page, and Amy stares at it.

Is that it? Really?

Is all her soulmate going to write to her ‘Hey’?

Her stomach gets the horrible sinking feeling that it does in gym class while she watches her classmates get picked before her, and she almost slams the book shut.

Her soulmate is someone with incredibly messy writing, it’s so messy it almost escapes the lines and is difficult to read. Amy seriously doubts the ability of the soulmate council - or whatever group of people it is who somehow magically assign people to their soulmates - to accurately match people if they’ve matched her with someone who is already the polar opposite of her in hand-writing.

And then the rest of the letter comes through, almost like an afterthought and Amy doubts the match even more, because her soulmate is a person who hates studying, reading and homework, and likes movies better than anything else.

Sure, Amy can enjoy a good movie but she loves books. So much that she could read them for hours, getting lost in the worlds and the characters.

Still, she picks up her pen and writes a response.

_I haven’t watched Die Hard or the Ninja Turtles much but my brothers have watched them both and I have to hear them talk about them lots. I probably would be Michelangelo, because he’s such a fantastic artist. I go to the art gallery or museum sometimes on my weekends, because I love learning and seeing new things. I’m a girl. Are you a guy?_

_I’m glad you wrote back. Even though we like different things, I’m sure we can be friends. Besides, my friend Kylie says that opposites attract. So maybe that’s why we were picked._

Amy finishes writing and watches the words sink into the page again. She brushes her teeth and finishes her homework, waiting for the spine to glow silver again but it doesn’t.

She falls asleep several hours later staring at the spine of her book that she turned to face her bed, waiting for it to glow silver as she strains to keep her eyes open.

It doesn’t.

\--

Amy checks her book the next morning, but finds nothing. She tucks it carefully in her bag and takes it to school with her, and checks it at recess and lunch only to find her latest letter sitting there, and no responses.

She checks all day and finds nothing, and her heart sinks as she watches it all evening and the spine doesn’t glow silver.

Maybe her notebook is broken.

(She doesn’t want to admit that her soulmate might have found her too nerdy and been put off.)

“Mama, did you go days without Dad writing to you?” Amy asks her Mom quietly over dinner as her brothers all roar with laughter over a story about a fight in school.

“Yes, mija. Sometimes it was weeks. Why, hasn’t your soulmate written back yet?” Amy’s mum reaches over and smooths back Amy’s hair.

“Well, they wrote back to my first letter but not since then.”

“Patience, Amy. Maybe they’re just busy.”

After dinner, her brothers drag her out onto the street for a game of tag and Amy forgets all about the notebook, too tired to do anything but sleep.

At recess the next day, Amy stares at the book while she sits in the library.

Turning to a fresh page, she puts her pen to the paper.

_I hope everything is okay with you. Last night, my brothers and I played tag. It was super fun, except when they ganged up on me to cheat. I don’t mind though, because the older they get the closer they are to moving away from home, and then I’ll hardly see them at all. Do you have any siblings?_

She sneaks looks at her notebook the rest of Thursday, and through Friday as well. Every time she sees the spine not glowing silver, she gets a little more worried.

Maybe her soulmate really doesn’t like her.

On Friday evening, she pens another note.

_It’s Friday, and I’ve already done all my homework. On the weekend, two of my oldest brothers are taking me to an arts festival, where there’s going to be chalk painting on the street, and performers, and paintings drawn on the side of buildings. I’m really excited to go. What are you doing this weekend?_

She falls asleep again that night staring at the spine of her notebook willing it to glow.

Again, it doesn’t.

\--

Jake forgets about his notebook; too busy bouncing around with Gina getting hyped up about all of the fun things they can do at his birthday party. His mum has ordered the coolest TMNT cake, and they’re going to be able to watch Die Hard and eat popcorn, gummy bears, rollups and sour worms all evening, when everyone but Gina is gone.

Saturday rolls around, and his mum has booked for them to go to a paintball range, and Jake gets a special purple bandana to wear for his birthday and almost loses his mind because it’s the same colour as Donatello’s. The birthday party activity is a huge hit, and everyone runs around like mad shooting each other with paintballs until the two hour session is over and they’re shuffled off to the party room for some table games and food, and there’s so much junk food Jake doesn’t even realise that his dad isn’t there.

It doesn’t click until they get home, even though his Mom keeps shooting him worried glances, and Gina keeps tapping her fingers on the arm of the sofa while peering at the front door.

It hits when it’s time to start Die-Hard and his dad hasn’t showed, and when he bounds into the kitchen to ask his Mom if he’s called to say when he’ll be here, she takes his hand and shakes her head.

“He called to say he’s not coming, honey.”

It feels like he’s been hit, but he knew he should have seen this coming. Because his dad never shows and he don’t know why he expected anything else.

He sits down to watch Die Hard with Gina before her mom arrives, but he stays quiet the entire movie and doesn’t laugh at all the bits that normally make him lose it, or quote any of the lines (not even Yippee ki-yay!), or pretend to shoot at the screen along with John McClane.

When Gina leaves, she gives him a longer hug than usual.

“Don’t get used to this, Peralta. But I’m sorry that the night was ruined by your dad. Chin up, kid.” She whispers.

“Thanks, Gina.”

“Peace out.” She floats away, her sparkling tutu skirt bouncing with every step she takes.

Jake trudges up to his room and crawls onto his bed, staring at the ceiling as he tries not to be disappointed, or blame himself.

He goes to grab his Gameboy from his desk drawer when he notices the silver light coming from the spine of his notebook.

He takes out the book and flips it open, finding the reply to his letter. And two more following that.

A terrible guilt wracks his stomach, and he feels awful for leaving his soulmate hanging because of resentment towards his dad. She’s written two more notes since her initial response, and Jake grabs a pen as he reads over her last few notes.

Putting it onto the paper, he vows never to leave his soulmate hanging again unless absolutely necessary.

He starts with an apology.

\--

Amy almost drops her notebook when words begin to form on the blank page she’s been staring at.

She’s been staring at it for half an hour, waiting to see if any response comes.

_I’m really sorry I didn’t answer your letters. I was being really dumb._

_I hope you can forgive me for being a terrible soulmate._

_I’m a guy. I wish I could have invited you to my birthday party. It was the greatest. I think you would have liked it even though it wasn’t any of your favourite things, but because it was super fun and we played paintball._

_I got a skateboard and I’m super excited to learn how to ride it. Can’t wait to learn how to do kick-flips and stuff! How many brothers do you have?_

Amy reaches for a pen – any pen will do at this point, and scribbles a response.

_I have seven brothers. I love paintball, because I want to be a cop! I’ve learned to shoot really well and hopefully that will help me one day achieve my plan. I’m sorry your dad left you, but from the activities of your birthday party it seems like your mom really loves you and you have heaps of friends which must help. I’ve never skateboarded before, don’t fall!_

Jake grins at how adorable his soulmate’s response is, and how quickly it arrives.

_-You have SEVEN brothers? And you want to be a cop?! I do too! Just like John McClane! I can’t believe you’ve never watched Die Hard now, it is the ultimate cop movie._

_-Yep, seven. Trust me, it’s annoying. And I’d love to become a cop. I’m working towards it as much as I can. Maybe one day, you can show me Die Hard._

_-I’m going to call you ‘seven brother girl’. Maybe one day I will show you Die Hard! It will blow your mind. By the way, I saved you a slice of cake. Even though I know you won’t be able to eat it. And I put it outside but now a raccoon is eating it._

_-Thanks for the thought. I like birthday cake, but I’m sure the raccoon will appreciate it for me._

_-It is, I can hear it making noises from my bedroom. It fought another racoon off to keep the cake to itself._

_-Oh god._

_-I know, isn’t it hilarious?_

_-No, that’s awful. I hope the other raccoon is okay!_

_-It is, don’t worry. I can see it running up a tree across the road._

_-Okay, that’s good._

_-How was your art thing?_

_-Art thing?_

_-You know the thing you said you were going to?_

_-Oh, that! It’s tomorrow. Today I helped my mum make a cake, but I was only allowed to ice it because I almost added a cup of salt instead of a cup of sugar when we were measuring the ingredients so she got me to sit down and watch until it was baked._

_-You sound like the worst baker ever oh my god._

_-It’s not my fault sugar and salt look the same okay!_

Jake laughs, really laughs as he reads Amy’s messages to him, and when his mum passes his room to find him sitting on his bed scribbling responses into his notebook, she smiles.

Jake and Amy both fall asleep writing to each-other that night.

\--

From that day on, Jake and Amy write to each other every single day. Multiple times over the course of the day, anytime they’re not walking somewhere or busy talking to people.

Which means that Jake starts writing to Amy in class, because when he isn’t trying to launch elastic bands into the bin at the front of the room, or try and understand (and give up, losing patience after ten minutes), he wants to talk to his soulmate.

_-Wat r u doing?_

_-I’m in English and I’ve finished the essay in-class task already. Everyone else is scribbling away. Also your writing style is terrible; you really should try and write full words. It’s good practice for school work, even though I know you don’t love it._

_-Ur such a nerd. (Haha, last time I promise). But it’s cute. I’m in science and I get nothing._

_-I can help you later, probably not best to help you while you’re actually in class._

_-You’d tutor me?_

_\- I already tutor three students in lower grades than me._

_-I feel so special._

_-You probably are - I mean I don’t think that anyone else loves Die Hard as much as you._

_-I have the whole film down even the gunshots. :P_

_-Super impressive. You should probably try focus on class though!_

Jake’s about to write a witty reply when the teacher snatches the book out of his hands, slamming it closed.

“Peralta, I will not have you wasting time instead of learning in my class!” Mr Logan huffs, and Jake pulls a face.

“I’m confiscating this until the end of the day.”

“No, you can’t do that!” Jake gasps, outraged as the students around him turn to look at the situation.

“Can’t I?” his teacher raises an eyebrow.

“It’s mine!” Jake argues.

“Fine, I’m confiscating it until the end of the week!”

Jake sinks into his seat as Mr Logan storms off and puts Jake’s book – his only connection with Seven Brother Girl into a drawer and locks it.

He feels miserable.

Gina elbows him in the side at lunch when she catches him staring into space, quiet.

“What is up with you?” she asks as he picks at his bag of gummy bears.

“Mr Logan took my soulmate book away for writing during class time.”

“Oh Jakey, don’t worry. You’ll get it back at the end of the day.”

“He was in a bad mood and when I argued back he confiscated it until the end of the week.” Jake throws a gummy bear forcefully against a nearby tree, and Gina pats his shoulder.

“It’s okay. You’ll just have to entertain yourself in the meantime and store up your letters.” She laughs at something that pops up across the page in her own book, and Jake feels a pang of jealously.

He wishes he could talk to his soulmate.

“Wait, what about hanging with you?”

“It depends how mopey you are. I can’t have you bringing down my vibe.” She does jazz hands to accompany the last word, and Jake snorts.

“Sorry, Queen Gina.”

“For that remark, I might just promote you from Squire to Knight.” Gina jokes, but the small smile that it gives Jake is progress.

\--

The week without talking to his soulmate is torture for Jake. Every time something funny happens, or he thinks of a random moment to share, he can’t.

Gina just rolls her eyes and shoves him whenever he’s in a mood about it.

“You’ll have heaps to talk about when you get to write again, nerd.” She twirls on the spot, throwing a cascade of grass leaves over him like confetti.

Jake just balls up his roll-up and stuffs it in his mouth as Gina practices her dance moves on the grass under the tree they’re sitting under.

“Tell me about your soulmate then.”

Gina launches into a half an hour speech about her soulmate, a girl who’s just as into dance as she is, but who is studying it at a fancy school. She seems the polar opposite to Gina, grumpy and weary of talking to people except for Gina, and Jake thinks that at the very least if she can make Gina smile then they’re a good match.

When Friday rolls around, he waits after class for Mr Logan, hovering by the classroom door as Gina waits down the hallway, tapping her foot impatiently as she studies her nails.

He gets called in after all of the students have left, and Mr Logan unlocks his drawer and hands the book back to Jake. He feels like he’s clutching a life line. The spine is glowing silver, he can tell that his soulmate has been writing to him and it fills him with joy and also sadness.

What if she thinks that he stopped writing again, like when they were first given their books?

“I don’t want to see this out in my class again unless you’ve done your work and are ahead.” Mr Logan warns, and Jake nods furiously before almost skipping out of the room.

“You’re so weird.” Gina rolls her eyes as he catches up to her, pushing off the lockers and hauling her bag over one shoulder.

“I am, but I’m your kind of weird.”

“Oh honey, not even. We exist on different spiritual planes.” Gina sighs as Jake tucks his notebook into his pocket. He can wait until he’s home, alone, to open it and write back.

\--

Amy hates the week without notes from her soulmate. It’s lonely, and empty, which isn’t helped by the fact that they usually write messages to each other every day, throughout the day.

So she sits in the library at lunch, having eaten in the courtyard in the quietest corner she can find, and writes to her soulmate about her days. It sucks that he stopped writing in the middle of Monday, and by the time Tuesday rolls around she realises that he most definitely had his book confiscated in class, and must have put up a fight otherwise he would have answered her by now.

_-I hope you didn’t get caught writing in class and get into trouble. I was allowed to leave class five minutes early, because the teacher couldn’t stand me sitting there organising my file when everyone else was doing school work. It means I got to eat lunch before anyone else came out, and get to the library first. I got my favourite seat, too. In the far corner that’s quiet. I hope the rest of your day is ok. Maybe this will teach you to pay more attention in class!_

_-So it’s Monday evening and if you’d had your book confiscated for the rest of the day you would have got it back by now. I hope you’re doing okay! I’ve got a super important test coming up in Biology that I’m really nervous about, so I should study. I’ll talk to you later._

_-Well, it’s Wednesday and you’re not back yet. Hope you haven’t dropped your book in a puddle somewhere or something, because it rained today and I figured since you like adventure you’d be running around in the rain or skating in it. I like the rain, do you?_

_-I had my Biology test today, and I think I did okay! It was difficult, even though I studied for three weeks for it. Hope you’re doing okay, I miss talking to you._

Amy draws little flower-doodles on the corners of the pages she writes on, trying to perfect the shape of the petals. By Friday lunch-time, vines and flowers surround each of her small notes, a couple of butterflies dotted across the pages.

She hopes her soulmate writes back this afternoon, although she knows her two eldest brothers are coming home to visit for dinner and she won’t get a quiet moment alone once she gets back home, being hugged and fussed over.

It’s to her delight that on her way home from school her notebook starts glowing. She immediately drops down onto the front steps of her house, carefully opening it to the latest page.

_-I’m so sorry you were right. The teacher took my book away for the whole week because I argued with him (oops). What was I meant to do? He was going to take away our conversations for a whole day! Never mind that I stuffed up and he made it a whole week. I missed talking to you, my best friend talks about her soulmate heaps and I got sad remembering I couldn’t write to you. I hope you don’t hate me!_

_-How could I hate you? You didn’t do it on purpose._

_-I promise I didn’t! I couldn’t let you down like that._

_-That’s good. I wrote you a few notes._

_-I can see, I’ll reply to them when I’m done apologising._

_-You don’t need to apologise._

_-I swear I will buy you a bag of gummy bears when we meet to make it up to you._

_-Haha. That’s nice. But not needed._

_-Well it’ll be for tutoring me then!_

_-Oh fine. If you insist._

_-I do! Gummy bears are THE best. Especially wrapped in a roll up._

_-Your poor teeth._ Amy writes back, giggling as she watches the words sink into the page.

- _My dentist might hate me._

_-I bet. Poor them. I’m so sorry to cut this short, but I have to go. I’ve got my two oldest brothers coming over for dinner tonight and my mama is going to spend hours cooking for them._

_-I hope you’re not helping, don’t want your brothers to die of over-salted food._

_-IT WAS ONE TIME OH MY GOD._

_-Joking! Seriously though try not to mix up salt and sugar again._

_-Hopefully the potato empanadas I’m meant to be helping with don’t end up dessert empanadas by mistake! I’ll talk to you later._

_-Ttyl, seven brother girl. I’ll write to you about my boring week while you’re gone._

_-Look forward to it!_

Jake looks down at her last message - the tiny heart drawn hurriedly at the end of Amy’s last sentence makes him smile and he feels warm.

It’s funny how such a small thing can spark so much.

Jake answers his soulmate’s notes from the week in one long letter, and then spends the rest of the evening smiling as he thinks of the heart drawn in the message.

\--

Amy and Jake keep writing to each other as the years pass, sometimes writing several notes a day and sometimes not writing for days at a time.

When Amy is too busy studying for finals and totally stressed out, she barely writes to Jake. He gets it, but it doesn’t make him less sad about not being able to talk to her.

Talking to the girl he’s now affectionately taken to calling ‘Dora’ is something Jake greatly enjoys, and it makes him feel a little more complete when come Sunday afternoon she writes half a novel to him about her week, pouring her heart into the communication that she can spare a moment to send.

He feels like he’s known her for years, and it has been three years since he was handed his very own notebook and matched with his very own soulmate. Jake still isn’t sure what kind of relationship they have, because Gina’s moved away and he runs in different friend circles, so he can’t consult her on his relationship status.

She wrote to him long ago that she didn’t have many friends, and he had simply sent back ‘ _I’m your friend, so that counts as +1! And you can’t get rid of me either, you’re stuck for life :P’_. Amy had sat on her bed crying a little bit because it felt so weird to have someone that wasn’t Kylie telling her she was their friend. Despite their polar opposites, Amy couldn’t imagine not knowing her soulmate.

Jake had told Amy, on his sixteenth birthday that his Dad had failed to show up again, and they’d had a long letter exchange that night full of jokes and her trying to comfort him, assuring him it wasn’t his fault that his Dad hadn’t come home. After then, he didn’t think he could be more grateful for being matched with the kindest, yet fiercest girl he’d ever talked to. He only wished they could meet up, but apparently that was already determined for a future date so he just had to wait. In the meantime, he sends as many letters as he can.

He pens a note to Amy, his homework done (because he knew she’d freak out if he hadn’t done it), hoping she’ll answer. There’s been times when she’s too stressed and busy to write back every week, instead only writing every fortnight, and he hopes this week isn’t another one of those periods where he writes a letter and she doesn’t reply for another two weeks.

_Dear Dora,_

_Today I bought a fish. I was at the mall with a bunch of friends, after playing in the arcade (and winning at the Terminator game) and we went past a pet-shop so I bought a fish._

_I called my fish John McClane and he’s swimming around in his bowl on my desk headbutting the glass. Is that normal? How do I take care of a fish? Do I need to put it to bed every night? Do fish stop swimming when they’re sleeping? How do I tell if John is just sleeping and not dead? Do you think I should get another fish to keep him company?_

_I know you’ve been studying super hard lately, and considering you skipped a grade and are a massive nerd, I bet you’re doing great. My final exams are coming up too but I’m pretty confident I’ve got this. I went over the study methods you gave me early this year and even though I hate studying and it's super boring, I do need to pass high school to get anywhere so I’m trying my best._

_Remember, try not to stress too much! You also need to have fun, also go outside, feel the sun on your face, take a look at the trees and the sky instead of squinting at books._

_You’ll be great. Good luck!_

_-Johnny_

Amy can’t help but smile when she gets the letter, breaking from her study to pen a reply.

_Johnny,_

_Why did you buy a fish? Aren’t your friends your impulse control? Maybe you should see if you can take care of one fish before getting two? I like the name, though. At least it’ll be easy to look after. I know you need fish food, and to clean it’s bowl regularly. I used to be class president and we had a class fish, I would feed it and help the teacher wash out the bowl and fill it with clean water again regularly. Good luck!_

_I’ve been studying so much I have forgotten what outside feels like. Thanks for reminding me, I’m going to take a quick walk now, before the sun sets._

_-Dora_

Amy does go for a walk, just around the block to the local park as she takes the time to breathe in the fresh air, look at the sky as it fades into the evening, and watch the street lights start to come on. It’s beautiful, and she wishes she could share the moment with her soulmate - because he’s one of the best friends she’s had and it makes her so happy that she can share things with someone who won’t judge her.

When she gets home, she finds Jake’s response and laughs for ten minutes straight, ignoring the curious stares from her brothers. Jake’s fish, John McClane has already been eaten, by a pigeon that landed on his windowsill and plucked the fish from the bowl for a meal.

It’s horrible to think of, but the sheer probability of it occurring has her in stitches, and she spends the rest of the night writing to Jake telling him that John McClane, the fish, died like a hero and got to see the world before he went.

\--

When they graduate high school - at the very same time, thanks to Amy skipping fourth grade -  Amy heads to College while Jake moves towards the police academy. The changes in their lives and schedules put them both on different paths, and they send the fewest letters in all of their years of communication.

Amy was busy, loading herself up with extra subjects, studying and completing assignments well in advance, joining clubs and taking seminars, all while working on her art skills. Jake was busy training, doing exercises and drills and completing the required assignments (with much grumbling about all of it). Their soulmate writing books lay in drawers next to their beds, and most of the time both Amy and Jake would fall into bed too exhausted to write more than a sentence, often forgetting to write at all.

Jake soon met Rosa in the academy, immediately taking a liking to the girl with wild and curly hair who stared coolly at people who dared ask her questions. What could he say? He liked people that looked bad-ass, always yearning to be more bad-ass than he ever could be (“You can’t be bad-ass, Jake. You wear flannel shirts.” Rosa had snorted, but she’d still gifted him his first ever leather jacket - one she’d found in a thrift shop, barely scuffed and well-loved by it’s previous owner and it had made his month, especially when Rosa gave a nod of approval.)

And, despite how annoying she found him initially, Rosa found a friend in Jake. They bonded over their love of hating authority, video games, the Gilmore Girls, pizza, and despising pushups. Although in the coming years, their friendship would grow deeper. But on Friday evenings when they didn’t have anything to do, their routine was to order a pizza, put on the Gilmore Girls and talk about motorcycles (although Jake would never admit this to anyone, ever, under threat of death from Rosa and because of his secret love of the Gilmore Girls).

“Hey, Rosa,” Jake asked over lunch as they sat under a tree in the courtyard while she picked at the last of his gummy bears. She raised an eyebrow in response, and he carried on.

“Do you still write to your soulmate?”

“When I can, yeah. She’s pretty busy doing dance things at the moment, and I’m doing this. So it gets difficult.

“Do you think that not writing means you’ll be less suited eventually? If you don’t know who the person is anymore?” Jake asked, fidgeting with the laces on his shoes.

“Maybe. But people don’t change massively. At heart, they’re always going to be a bit of a nerd, or an artist, or a really funny person. And you’ll always know that, and be able to connect with that. If you know their deepest qualities, you do somewhat know a person no matter how much they change. They’re never going to stop liking something they’re passionate about.” she shrugged, and he nodded.

“Thanks.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know. Being reassuring?”

“I wasn’t being reassuring, you dumb dumb. I was being sensible.” Rosa nudges him in the ribs, but he can see a faint smile on her lips and laughs as she throws a gummy bear at him.

\--

When Jake graduates the academy and becomes an actual police officer with Rosa, it’s one of the best days of his life. Rosa punches him in the arm when he goes for a hug in front of their class, but gives him a high-five and hugs him later when they’re at his mom’s house as she fusses over them and serves a special cake she made for the occasion.

“Thanks, Mrs Peralta.”

“Rosa, please. It’s Karen.” she replies, patting Rosa’s head as she sails past.

Jake snorts, earning him a kick under the table as Rosa grins.

“Thanks, Karen.”

When Rosa goes home and Karen leaves Jake on the couch watching Die Hard, he pauses the movie, picks up his soulmate notebook and flicks through the pages. He goes through all of their letters, the years and years of letters and smiles as he remembers the stories and thoughts they shared with each other.

Scrabbling around on the coffee table for a pen, he finds one and pens a letter to Dora, the longest he’s written in a long time.

_Hey Dora,_

_I’m sorry we haven’t talked properly in a long time. I miss when life was a little easier, and less busy, and I could spare the time to sit down and write a letter to you. Today was huge. I graduated from the police academy, and I’m now an officer. It’s so thrilling that I finally get to be what I’ve always wanted to be, and I managed my dream._

_I’m still living with my mom because I can’t afford to move out yet, and I’m at home lying on the couch watching Die Hard, in celebration. It’s pretty great, and I still know all the lines._

_I know you’re still super busy with school. Don’t forget to go outside when you’re not going to classes, exams or the library! If I knew what college you went to, I might show up in uniform and drag you away for an outing, just to take your mind off things. Although it would embarrass you, it’d definitely be worth it!_

_Dad didn’t come to my graduation today, but I’ve almost gotten used to it. I remembered what you told me, way back, about it not being me that was problematic but him. Thanks for that. Your advice has stuck with me still, and hopefully mine has with you._

_I made a great friend at the academy, and I’m so excited to start working. Hopefully one day I can make my way up to Detective, and get to solve cases. Fingers crossed, right? I know you’ll laugh and say that it’s all up to planning and hard work, but come on, Dora. There’s gotta be a bit of luck thrown in there, right?_

_Hope everything is good in your section of the world._

_Thinking of you,_

_-J._

Jake sighed as he watched the letter sink into the page, and closed the book. Un-pausing Die Hard, he leaned back into the couch to watch the rest of the movie, his lips moving along silently with every line as. When the end credits rolled, he turned off the tv and checked the spine of his notebook - no response. Pulling a blanket over himself, he grabbed his phone and started looking through the selfies he’d taken throughout the day, setting the one of him grinning ear-to-ear and Rosa rolling her eyes as his background, and fell asleep shortly after.

\--

Amy writes back at midnight that night, her frantic shuffle of binders to look for a buried set of lecture notes unearthing her soulmate notebook. She stares at it before picking it up, turning it in her hands and feeling the soft cover against her skin.

It’s been so long since she’s written to Johnny, their last notes scribbled, short and rushed. The kind of interaction that left her pining for the afternoons that she could sit and write a novel of responses to his notes and letters.

The spine is glowing silver - he must have written recently, and she opens the book to find his note. She reads it quickly, her eyes still red from crying earlier. One of her brothers, Miguel, was hurt on duty as a paramedic today. There was a crash that he was nearby, and he got burned and knocked unconscious by the blast of the car after he dragged the driver out. She’s spent most of the afternoon in the hospital, crowded around his bed with her parents and her other brothers as they all crammed into the room. He still isn’t awake, and Amy’s been worrying about it all evening.

The note brings a small smile to her lips as she reads, but a sense of guilt settles into her stomach and twists. She can’t give Johnny the friendship he deserves, especially now that they’re on completely varied schedules.

_Johnny,_

_First of all, congratulations! That’s huge. I’m so proud of you for achieving your goal, and starting the steps onto the path you’ve always wanted. I know you’ll make a fantastic cop, and I hope I get to see it one day._

_I promise I’ll get some air, eventually. You’re right, I do need to take breaks more often but I my weakness is that I overwork myself, so it’s easy to forget to relax for a minute. I’m still two and a half years away from graduating, so far away from being out of College and trying to do something in the world. I have a rough plan of where I’d like to go, but at the moment there are still possibilities that I’m considering, so I’m exceptionally happy for you that you’re on the right path._

_It’s really great and I wish you all the best with it. Maybe there is luck. Maybe some people have a gift for being really good at something without having to work really hard for it. I don’t know, but either way I’ll be thinking of you, rising up through the ranks as the years pass. I miss talking as much as we used to. I like to think that when we hit a certain age and exit the confines of study, or intense full-time work that maybe there will be enough time for us to write to each other again. But adulting is hard, and I know that there is a lot of work in my future, and doubtless a lot of work in yours. It seems that we’ve finally started growing apart, our paths headed in different places that don’t mesh well for us to communicate often, if at all. Please know that just because I don’t write doesn’t mean I don’t care, or that I don’t think about you._

_I’m sorry to hurt you, but I can’t write anymore. I can’t give you the connection you deserve, let alone any kind of functioning friendship, so I think it’s better if our letters end. I’m a terrible soulmate for leaving you, and I know that you’ll blame yourself - don’t. It’s not you, it’s me. I just can’t keep up anymore, not with everything on my plate and all of the changes happening. I’m sorry._

_I’ll miss you, and I hope that one day we get to meet. I’d like that. Until then, stay safe._

_Wishing you all the best._

_Love,_

_Your Dora._

Amy signs off the letter, feeling a sadness welling in her chest. She’s saying goodbye, closing the door on her soulmate (for now). For Amy, it’s the easiest thing to do - she has to accept that her and her soulmate are living two different lives that don’t allow for interaction the same way they did when the two of them were at school. She feels terrible for how little they write, and has been thinking about the situation a lot, lately. She fears that he’ll be too angry at her for not trying, not wanting to talk to him more but Amy’s already carefully walking the line between busy and run-down, and she can’t bear unloading her problems on her soulmate when he’s starting such a promising life. Amy blinks back tears as she carefully closes her notebook, opening a drawer in her bedside table and tucking it far back inside, protected from being lost but not sitting there reminding her what a terrible soulmate she is.

It’s hard to do, but it’s also something that she’s been thinking about over the past couple of months. When their messages got reduced to ‘Hey, how are you?’ repeatedly, back and forth with ‘Good/Okay/Not bad/Been better’ responses, she knew that their lives were drifting apart. Pulling away now will be the best for the both of them, Amy assures herself as she closes her study binder and curls up on her bed, tears spilling from her eyes.

Turning off her bedroom light, she looks up at the ceiling as she thinks of her soulmate, and hopes that one day when they do eventually meet, he can forgive her.

\--

Five years pass, and as Amy completes her college degree in Fine Art - going on to complete a Masters, starts at the NYPD academy and graduates, she forgets about the chances of meeting her soulmate. When she meets Teddy Wells at code camp, she’s immediately smitten. He asks her out and she says yes, their first date spent in a library going over puzzles, math problems and exchanging random facts. They click so well that Teddy asks her for a second date two days later. Amy accepts, things progress, and they date for seven months until he catches sight of her writing on a shopping list and his face falls.

“I’m not your soulmate.” Amy says dully, watching Teddy’s eyes trace over the careful swoop of her a’s, and the curl in the tail of her g’s.

“No.” Teddy answers quietly as he puts down the shopping list, turning to her.

“What if your soulmate isn’t the person you’re meant to fall in love with? What if they’re just your friend?” Amy asks, her heart sinking as Teddy shakes his head.

“My whole family has only ever found their partners through their notebooks. I doubt I’m different.”

“Maybe you are! Do you even know?” Amy folds her arms over her chest, and Teddy pauses.

“I hadn’t considered that I could be different. It’s always happened for the members of my family.”

“There are always outliers.” Amy tries, her voice horribly small in the room.

“You’re right.” Teddy smiles, but it feels forced.

They stay together, but the relationship is strained.  Whenever Teddy catches sight of her handwriting, his face crumples a bit, and she feels her heart breaking the longer it drags on. She feels like he’s staying with her out of pity, scared to break-up their relationship for no good reason. Amy constantly wonders what’s happened to her soulmate, and whether or not Teddy is right about his being destined to be his partner, the big ‘final love’ in his life.

It turns out that he is, when two months later he comes home and tells her that he met the woman who he’d spent years writing to at work. Amy and Teddy break up, and she sits on her couch watching ‘Jeopardy!’ reruns as she cries, having gone to pick up her things from Teddy’s apartment and found him curled up with his soulmate only two weeks after their relationship has ended.

She’s tempted to get her notebook out, to reach out to her soulmate but she doubts that he even checks his book anymore. He probably threw it away the day she sent her final letter.

\--

Jake checks his notebook every single week since he got his least-favourite letter from Dora, five years ago.

He’d responded the next morning, panic rising in his throat as he had frantically scribbled on the paper.

_Dora,_

_Please don’t give up on us. I know it’s difficult, and that we barely have the same friendship we used to, but things can change again. You never know._

_I’d rather talk to you a little than not at all - despite you thinking that I can move on and forget you, I can’t just wait for life to throw us together. I want to know you as we change and grow, to follow your journey, and to tell you mine._

_I’ll wait for you._

When no response comes after a week, Jake knows that there’s very little chance he’ll ever get to write to his soulmate again. But that doesn’t stop him from checking every week, just to make sure.

Sometimes, if he was having a bad day, Jake would go back and read every single one of their letters - except the last two, reliving the memories shared and the stories told until he was either crying from laughter or crying because he missed it, the conversation with the person he was meant to share a special connection with.

When Gina stumbles in on him - having caught a cab to his rather than her own place, as it was closer to the bar - she wrapps her arms around him and smooths her hand up and down his back.

“Don’t worry, buttercup. What’s meant to be, will be. I’m sure she didn’t stop writing because she doesn’t care.”

“Thanks, Gina.” Jake sighs as she falls back onto the couch, her head cushioned by the pillows he’s put there.

“No worries, boo. You’re my main girl.” Gina blows him a kiss and winks as he drapes a blanket over her, and is asleep in seconds.

A year later Gna meets Rosa when Jake scores her the civilian administrator job at the Nine-Nine, and she audibly gasps upon flicking open the first report Rosa ever leaves on her desk for Captain McGinley to check over.

“ROSA DIAZ!” She cries, standing up as Rosa whirls around, alarmed.

“What?” Rosa raises an eyebrow, and Terry and Charles look up from their desks.

“I know your handwriting!” Gina points at Rosa, who has a small smile forming on her lips.

“Did you ever start that dance group called ‘The Dancy Reagans?’”

“No, boo. I went with floor-gasm instead.”

“Nice.” Rosa nods, and Jake laughs.

“I can’t believe you two are soulmates.”

“You better believe it.” Gina grins, and Rosa snorts.

“You’re the same in person as you were on paper. I should have guessed.” she playfully rolls her eyes as she sits down, and Gina smiles as she perches back in her seat.

That evening, Rosa and Gina go down to Shaw’s, allowing Jake to come with them as they talk and drink for hours. Jake spends the whole time glancing between the two women he’s been closest to for so long (apart from his relatives) in amusement as they catch up. It’s almost ironic, that the two of them are soulmates and were the people they both talked to him about for years.

He thinks about his soulmate, wondering how she’s doing out there and whether or not she remembers him at all. As he watches Gina and Rosa laugh over some joke, he wonders if he’ll ever meet her.

\--

Two years later, Amy transfers to the Nine-Nine, and she’s a bundle of nerves on the very first day. Fortunately, it goes well. She’s got things pretty down by the time she finishes her first day - Terry helps guide her, working to introduce her to the procedures that they follow, although almost everything transfers over from the way she used to work in her old department.

She meets Rosa, the woman gives her a nod in greeting and barely speaks a word to her or anyone; Charles, who is overly friendly, obsessed with food and chatty; Gina who stares at her clothing and then raises an eyebrow before smiling; and Jake - he’s incredibly loud, slightly obnoxious, a complete joker and spends most of the day trying to throw gummy bears in his mouth while he and Gina exchange friendly jabs, interrupted only by a snort from Rosa and comments from Charles.

She works with Rosa, Charles and Terry at first, watching Jake tackle cases alone or choosing Rosa or Charles as his secondary. They talk briefly, and he teases her about her massive binders and file-tabs, but she ignores his jabs and focusses on settling in.

To her surprise, it doesn’t take long. She gets Rosa to talk to her, and the two of them reach a comfortable point where Amy is still nervous around Rosa, but knows she can count on the other Detective to help her out, no or minimum questions asked.

It’s a couple of months before she finally gets assigned a case with Jake, unimpressed as he groans loudly and makes a scene of getting out of his chair, following her downstairs and to her car.

They’ve talked - he pokes fun at her for being organised, predictable, and a neat-freak. She rolls her eyes every time he throws a handful of gummy bears into the air and tries to catch them with his mouth, and ignores the state of his desk - apocalyptic, to be honest. They exchange friendly jabs, jokes and stories over the months, and she tries to ignore the warm feeling she gets in her chest whenever Jake smiles at her, or high-fives her for a case well done, or pulls faces at her to get her to laugh if she’s having a bad day. But they haven’t worked together yet, McGinley only just partnering them up to look into the string of robberies.

“So, Santiago. What makes you tick? What gives you the case focus?” he asks idly as he falls into her passenger seat, and she shrugs.

“I always like to keep as organised as possible. I’m a details person.”

He pulls a face, but makes chatter in the car as they drive to the crime scene - a break and enter at a local burger joint, where the tip jar and the entirety of the till has been stolen. It happens to be the fourth business on the block that’s been hit within the month, so they’re looking for patterns.

She takes copious notes, interviewing the owner before sighing and handing her pocket-sized pad to Jake when he tries to peer over her shoulder.

“I’d rather you just ask and read it yourself than try and look over my shoulder.” she snaps, and he smirks and takes the pad from her as they trail out of the Burger joint.

She reaches the car and realises that he’s not there, turning to find him glued to the spot just outside the restaurant across the road, staring down at her notebook.

“Peralta!” she calls, and he snaps his head up to look at her but doesn’t respond.

“Come on! I’d like to get back to the precinct and compare my notes to the other case files on the related break-ins.” she sighs, marching back across the road and swiping her notepad out of his hand.

“What’s wrong with you anyway? Have you noticed how superior my note taking skills are?” she asks carefully as he studies her, his mouth opening and then closing as a blush creeps up his neck.

“Jesus, Peralta. Are you having an allergic reaction to something?” Amy asks, leaning forward to place a hand on his shoulder.

“Dora?” he wheezes out, and Amy freezes.

“What did you just say?”

“How many brothers do you have?”

“Seven, why?”

“Did your soulmate write to you and call you Dora?” Jake manages to get the words out, and Amy nods, finding her feet frozen to the sidewalk.

“Does that mean.. Are you Johnny?” she asks, and Jake nods in response.

“Yep.”

“Oh my god.” they both say at the same time.

There’s a moment of silence, and Amy feels like her heart is pounding so loudly in her throat that it’ll burst out at any moment, fall onto the pavement and roll down into the gutter.

She should have known. She should have realised. Gummy bears. An obsession with Die Hard. The way his jokes made her laugh, and the way that his eyes whenever he looked at her laughing made her heart skip a beat. The way that he made her feel when she was down, and the teasing smile he gets whenever she brings out a binder.

“We should talk about this later.” Amy blurts out, turning and almost running back to her car. She realises she can’t leave Jake behind, waiting as he slowly comes over and climbs into her car.

The ride back to the precinct is spent in complete silence as Jake toys with the button on the cuff of his shirt, Amy’s fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly.

\--

Amy’s sitting at her desk, staring at the note Jake has slid across his desk to her, unable to believe that his handwriting is so familiar, that she’s seen it so many times before. How could she have known him this long and not seen his writing? Her soulmate was sitting right across from her the whole time.

_Shaw’s, after work?_

_Yes_. Amy scribbles in reply, sliding the note back over the desk and she sees his lips tug up at the edges in the smallest of smiles when he reads it.

He’s been exceptionally quiet ever since they got back. Gina’s giving them looks whenever Jake fidgets and tugs at his collar. Amy shrugs when she catches the civilian administrator’s eye, and Gina raises an eyebrow before casting her eyes back down to her phone and tapping out a text. Jake’s phone buzzes a second later and Amy can see the screen light up before Jake unlocks it and taps a response. Satisfied, Gina doesn’t observe them again for the rest of the afternoon.

She and Jake throw themselves into the case, picking up a common witness at all scenes, and soon arrest the thief who couldn’t help coming back to watch the police look at his handiwork. Signing off for the evening as she finishes the last report and hands it to Gina, she notices that Jake has packed up his bag and is sitting across from her glancing over every few seconds. When Amy gets up and farewells everyone for the night, she starts downstairs and hears Jake push up from his seat just as the elevator doors close.

\--

Jake heads downstairs and waits for a minute, smoothing down his jacket as he pushes down the anxiety. Everything is fine. It’s just Amy, and she’s just his soulmate. The person picked to be something special to him - whether that be best friends, like an adopted sibling, or lovers. Nothing serious.

He scoffs at his own thoughts and drums his hands against his legs before he walks across the street, heading for Shaw’s. The bar isn’t super busy, and he spots Amy sitting in the corner with a drink as soon as he walks in. Ordering a beer, he waits for it before wrapping his fingers around the bottle and making his way over to her. She sighs as he slides into the seat beside her, and turns to look at him.

“Hey.” she says quietly, and he wets his lips with his tongue. The silence between them is heavy, and there are so many things he wants to ask. To know.

“Why did you stop writing?” he asks quickly, his voice a little shaky as he does and he hates himself in that moment, disgusted at how hurt he sounds.

“Because I was scared.” Amy replies, her voice wavering a little. It’s enough to give him comfort as he watches her swallow, her teeth worrying her lip.

“Scared of what?”

“Of you growing bored of me.”

“Are you kidding? You were - you are - so bright, so enthusiastic and so interesting. Your stories and our play arguments made my days so much better. I was devastated when you stopped writing.”

“I’m sorry.” Amy whispers, and Jake laughs.

“Sorry doesn’t cover seven years of complete silence.”

“I know. There was so much going on. Nineteen year old me didn’t know how to handle it at all, and something had to give. I chose our letters.” Amy worries her lip more, and he lays a tentative hand over hers.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad. I’m just confused. Writing to you was something to special to me, I couldn’t believe someone as smart and as organised as you would even be able to tolerate me. And then you stopped. I thought maybe you’d start writing after you graduated, but you didn’t. I was disappointed, so I threw myself into work, and into life. I managed."

“I liked writing to you, too.” Amy admits, meeting Jake’s eyes and he gives her a smile.

“I wish you hadn’t stopped.” he replies, his voice sad.

“Me too. Reading your letters was usually the highlight of my week.”

“Well, it’s so obvious now.” he grins, his trademark ‘about to tease Amy Santiago’ look settling over his features.

“What is, Peralta?”

“You love me. We are obviously meant to be romantic soulmates. It’s written all over your face. My letters - not visits to museums, or art galleries, or libraries - were the highlight of your weeks. Say no more.” Jake smirks.

“You’re such a jerk. Anyway, how do you know we’re romantic soulmates? We could just be friend soulmates.” Amy laughs, punching him in the arm lightly and grinning when he gasps in mock hurt, clutching his arm.

“You’ve mortally wounded me, Santiago! Is that any way to treat your future lover?”

“Oh my god, Peralta. Shut up.” Amy giggles, Jake’s laughter joining hers soon after.

They spend the rest of the night talking about some of the time that they missed out on, covering the big events, exchanging numbers at the end of the night and promising to talk more.

When Amy gets home, she digs around frantically in her apartment until she finds her notebook, carefully tucked into a box of special belongings.

Opening it, her fingers find the last letter - Jake’s response to the goodbye note that she’d sent. Her breath catches when she reads it, and she feels tears prick at her eyelids.

How could she think that she could distance herself from her soulmate and that it wouldn’t hurt him? How could she think that cutting off one of her closest friends, despite their lull in letters, would be a good decision for them both?

She grabs a pen from her pen cup on her desk, sitting down as she looks at the empty page. And then she starts to write.

She writes a letter for every single year that she didn’t write, detailing the memories and the events that happened. She writes about how much she missed Jake, and how talking to him helped relieve the stress. Amy writes for hours, until her hand is starting to cramp and her pen is running low on ink, and then she writes one final letter.

_Jake,_

_I’m so sorry I stopped writing to you all those years ago. As I said earlier, I was scared. People in my life tended to leave too - many of my friends moved on when they learned that I wouldn’t break the rules, that I wasn’t a secret bad girl who had loads of fun. When people realised that my idea of fun was painting, or drawing, or reading - in silence without meaningless conversation, they moved on to people who could give them the idle chatter and gossip that they wanted. The only friend who’s stuck by me is Kylie, and even we’ve fallen in and out of contact a little as our lives progressed._

_I should have kept trying, not just for you but for me. We both deserved better than I decided, and I’m so sorry for that. I realise now that I’m as bad as your dad, leaving when things got tough and I couldn’t handle the effort anymore and it pains me._

_Thanks for talking to me today, I deserved less but you really are a caring soul. Even though you’re totally annoying, because you are indeed one of those people who are really good at something without working their butt off to get to that level, you think that sugar is the base of a great diet, and your desk looks like a small bomb hit it, I enjoyed spending time with you today - between the awkward discoveries and apologies._

_I hope we can be friends, and that you can forgive me for being a terrible soulmate._

_-Amy._

\--

The next day at work when Jake comes in, there’s a coffee sitting on his desk, and he’s grinning from ear to ear.

“You totally have it bad for me.” Jake whispers across to Amy when she looks up, and she rolls her eyes.

“Don’t ruin my nice gesture.”

“I read your letters, Santiago. You’re adorable. And you totally love me.”

“I do not! Oh my god.”

“We’re destined to be, don’t deny me this.” Jake grins, and Amy just rolls her eyes and gets on with her paperwork.

From that day on, Jake works most of his cases with her, and they start a ritual - every two weeks, they’ll go to get food somewhere - Polish, Chinese, Italian - and go back to one of their apartments to eat while watching Law and Order, because both of them have a stupid obsession with it, and compete to see who can solve the case first. Jake shows Amy Die Hard, as promised, on their very first evening as they lay sprawled across his couch, take-out containers spread across the floor. Amy rolls her eyes and pokes Jake in the stomach with her foot every time he starts mumbling the lines, and he just grins and shouts the next line.

Their routine is comfortable, and they start to enjoy spending the extra time together, the fortnightly hang-out becoming weekly. It’s been a year since Jake discovered that Amy was his soulmate, and they’ve settled into an easy friendship.

“Hey, Ames?” Jake asks one night in an ad break, and she turns to look at him with a forkful of potato pancake paused on the way to her mouth.

“Mmm?”

“Do you still look at your notebook?”

“Not really. I’ve got it in my desk drawer at home. Do you?”

“Nah. I’ve got conversations in person with you, and they’re much better. I think it’s in a box somewhere.” he shrugs, and Amy laughs.

“I’m glad I live up to expectations.”

“You don’t meet expectations.” he teases, poking her in the shoulder as she pulls a face.

“God, are you really grading me as a person?”

“I am, because you exceed expectations, Amy Santiago.”

“I’m so flattered. Can’t say the same, though.” she jokes, laughing as he rolls his eyes and dramatically flops back into the couch, clutching his chest.

Amy couldn’t have hoped for anything better, and she enjoys the Friday evenings as she and Jake unwind, yelling theories and pointing out glaring holes as they watch the back-to-back episodes.

One evening as Amy arrives at Jake’s, Polish in hand, he opens the door before she can even knock. He’s dressed up, his usual stay-in clothes nowhere to be seen.

“You dressed nice.” Amy tilts her head, confused as Jake tugs at his collar nervously.

“Shit. Sorry. I forgot to text.”

“Got plans?”

“Yeah, I have a date. I totally blanked that our plans clashed.”

“Oh, that’s fine. We can reschedule.” Amy smiles, stepping back from the door as Jake exits his apartment and locks it.

“Sorry.” Jake offers his elbow, and Amy slides her arm through it as they walk down the hallway.

“Who’s the girl?”

“Her name is Sophia.”

“Lucky you.” Amy teases, and Jake laughs, holding open his building door for her as they step onto the street.

“Well, have a good date.” Amy removes her arm from Jake’s, ignoring the funny feeling that runs down her spine.

“Thanks.” Jake grins, hopping into his car. She watches him drive away and then slumps into her car, eyes fixed on the spot where his car disappeared.

\--

Jake’s relationship with Sophia changes everything. Their regular catch ups stop, because Sophia and Jake are busy making out, or whatever (Amy refuses to believe it’s more than making out, because it makes her feel sick otherwise) every free night that they get. It’s only been a month and Amy’s already sick of hearing about it. Every time that Jake starts talking about him and Sophia, Amy goes to the copy room and laminates her weekly shopping list, or binds together her notes on her latest case until Jake is busy again. One day, she’s hiding out in there when Rosa strolls in, eyebrow raising when she sees Amy forcefully clamping down a wire bind.

“What’s up with you?” she asks, and Amy unclenches her fingers from around the handle.

“Nothing.”

“Right.” Rosa scoffs.

“I’m trying to escape Jake talking about his relationship and not working. It’s driving me nuts.”

“Is that because you like him?”

“What?” Amy sputters as Rosa leans against the side of the printer and folds her arms over her chest.

“Oh come on. You can’t be that blind. Never mind. You are that blind.” Rosa sighs as Amy’s eyes go wide and she flushes.

“I can’t like him. It’s Jake. He eats gummy bears wrapped in a roll up for breakfast, his handwriting is still ridiculously messy, and he jokes about everything. I bet he doesn’t even have a vague life plan.”

“You and Gina are the only ones who can decipher his handwriting.”

“So?”

“You’re the only one who will let him prattle on about Die Hard for over two minutes. It’s so obvious you like him.”

“I do not!” Amy argues, and Rosa just rolls her eyes.

“You should probably talk to him before he and Sophia get too serious.” Rosa replies over her shoulder as she leaves the room.

“I can’t do that.” Amy whispers, staring at Jake as he chats with Charles. No doubt about Sophia’s fantastic taste or some mushy crap.

Rosa’s right. She likes Jake. At some point between Law and Order on the couch and take-away, Amy started falling for Jake.

It’s his fault, obviously, for having a goofy but cute smile, for the way that he makes her laugh, for the cute eye and nose crinkle he does when he’s happy. It’s his fault for coming over to her house that first Friday, holding a pizza box and a container of pasta, steaming hot and smelling delicious as he came inside and sighed in relief upon finding her watching Law and Order.

But she won’t be the person to break up anyone, so she decides to keep it to herself. Sighing, she unclenches her hands and grabs her freshly bound booklet, stalking back to her desk and dropping the file down. The sound is loud enough to make Jake realise that he’s been gossiping with Charles for ten minutes, and he ends the conversation and turns back to his work.

\--

Another three weeks pass, and Amy tries to ignore Rosa’s pointed glares whenever Jake starts talking about Sophia and she runs off to the copy room, or to the filing room, or the evidence lock-up. Gina sails into the filing room after Amy on the third week, closing the door behind her.

“What are you doing?” she asks, and Amy jumps in surprise.

“Filing, what does it look like?”

“With Jake, girl. You know? About five eight, gangly and pasty, has the worst but best sense of humour ever? Lives for Die Hard and puns? That Jake.”

“Nothing. We’re just colleagues.”

“Puh-lease. Rosa told me you’re avoiding him, and I know that you two are soulmates. Jake spilled that deet to me a month after you two started getting to know each other.”

“He did?” Amy squeaks, her voice small. Was it that important to him?

“Don’t be blind. Get the guy! Live the romance movie, make your bold move. I know you took a seminar on when to make bold moves in the workplace, so don’t bullshit me either because that’s transferrable.” Gina waves her finger when Amy goes to protest, and she snaps her mouth shut as Gina looks at her triumphantly.

“I won’t break up a relationship.” Amy argues, and Gina rolls her eyes.

“It’s like trying to walk blind cats, I swear.” she mutters, leaving as she finishes filing her stack of manila folders.

Amy stares after her, worrying her lip between her teeth.

Charles comes in a second later, and he smiles when he sees her.

“You’ve been in here a while. Having a heart-to-heart with Gina?”

“Somewhat.” Amy laughs nervously, and Charles’ face softens.

“Was it about Jake?”

“What? No. Why?”

“Because you hide in here whenever he talks about Sophia.”

“It’s just distracting, trying to work with you two chattering.”

“Or you could be jealous.”

“I am not jealous!” Amy argues, feeling her face growing hot.

“I’m still rooting for you, Amy. I know you and Jake are end game.”

“Oh my god, what does that even mean?” she cringes, and Charles sighs.

“Ah, young, confused love. You really should tell him, Amy.”

“Charles!” Amy groans, burying her face in her hands.

That night, she pulls out her soulmate notebook and stares at it, letting her fingers smooth over an unused page. She’s been bottling up her feelings about Jake and Sophia for weeks, pushing the discomfort down and biting her tongue.

She’s watched the last six Law and Order episodes alone in her apartment, take-out for one carefully balanced on her lap as she misses Jake excitedly nudging her with his elbow whenever a hint gets dropped, yelling at the television when the Detectives overlook an important detail, him letting her have most of the blanket as he wraps it around her feet and raises his leg for her to squish them under for extra warm. She misses Jake.

It’s stupid, really. Apart from the first night they’ve never talked about what kind of soulmate relationship they’d have, and Jake dropped the teasing about being her future lover when she started dating a dentist (the relationship lasted all of two dates). But she’s been thinking about it, ever since Rosa and Gina threw the truth in her face. She likes Jake, but she’s not sure if he even likes her back. Besides, he’s with Sophia.

So she writes.

_So, it’s Law and Order night except you’re not here. We haven’t done this together for nearly two months, and it took three weeks for the take-away places to stop giving me a double order._

_I miss you. And because you probably won’t read this for years and it will either be too late, or things will be different - I like you. As in I have romantic feelings towards you. But you’re with Sophia, and I don’t want to ruin that. You seem happy, and she’s lovely. So I’m going to write this, and let it go. After this, I’m going to try and get over liking you and make things normal again. Because even if we can’t date, you’re still my soulmate and I want to be your friend._

_It’s really selfish of me to write this, and I hope when you read this eventually that you don’t hate me. I just need to put it out there, and know that at least I said it._

_From, Amy._

She finishes the note and watches it seep into the paper, closing her eyes as she shuts the book and tucks it under her couch cushions.

There’s a chance that Jake won’t ever look at his notebook again, and Amy is fine with that. Because she’s written it down, and now she can work on changing it.

She falls asleep that night feeling a little better, but she cries for the opportunity missed, and for the loneliness she feels.

\--

That weekend, Sophia and Jake have a huge fight.

It’s been brewing for a couple of weeks, and they haven’t been able to go on a date without bickering about something. It comes to an angry, painful head on Saturday when they start fighting about their work attitudes bleeding out of their workplaces and into their lives. Sophia’s sick of Jake picking up on small details she mentions about her colleagues, guessing their dirty secret or habit days before it comes to light, and Jake is over Sophia’s defensive nature. They fight over a restaurant to go to for breakfast; Sophia defending her choice as Jake insists that he’s pretty sure that’s where her colleague goes to meet their weed dealer, and he’d rather not have to arrest the guy. It might spoil the mood somewhat.

The fight soon escalates to Sophia yelling that she’s sick of Jake being so immature about things, and Jake shouting back that he’s over her defending her colleagues for their shitty behaviour and trying to make him feel bad for paying attention. After the epic fight at Sophia’s apartment concludes in a break up, Jake storms off.

He detours to Charles’ house, spending the afternoon watching cooking shows as he hashes out his feelings regarding the break-up, Charles comforting and supporting him while making Jake a late brunch that’s a big breakfast, Boyle style (with mushrooms, spinach, beans, hash browns and cheesy potato cakes, because you go big or you don’t make it at all, according to Charles). It’s not a big thing in the long run, as he’s only been dating Sophia for a few weeks, but he’s still disappointed because he really thought it could work out.

He misses Amy, her light jabs and sensible advice something that he needs right now, but he knows that he’s been neglecting their friendship in favour of his relationship, and the guilt from that keeps him from going to see her.

He’s thinking about the slight disappointment that flashed in her eyes for a second when she turned up for their scheduled hang-out night only to find him about to leave for a date - when Charles sighs.

“Jake, go to her.”

“Hm?” Jake is torn out of his thoughts, to find Charles standing in front of him holding out a bottle of shampoo.

“Go to her.”

“To Sophia? We’re over. I don’t think it’s gonna work out, Charles.”

“No, Jake. To Amy. And take this, and wash her hair. It’s the most intimate thing.”

“What?” Jake splutters, his heart thumping in his chest.

“Washing a lover's hair is the second most intimate thing you can do.” Charles repeats, and Jake shakes his head furiously.

“No, why would I go to Amy?”

“Because you like her.” Charles responds matter-of-factly, as if it’s advertised above Jake’s head on a neon sign. Which it totally isn’t. (He glances up just to make sure)

“No I don’t.” Jake protests, and Charles raises a single eyebrow.

“Even if I like her that doesn’t mean she likes me!” Jake argues back as Charles sets down the bottle of shampoo, folding his arms over his chest.

“Then why has she been disappearing every time you talk to me about Sophia?”

“She said that my ‘endless chatter of non work material was irritating and broke her focus’.” Jake does the finger quotes as he puts on an annoyed Amy voice, and Charles shakes his head.

“Oh Jake. You’re so wrong You two belong together. I can make you dinner to share, and you can take it over. I know a wonderful aphrodisiac stew, and I think I might have some bull testicles frozen still.”

“Charles!” Jake shrieks, covering his ears as he jumps up from the couch.

“You really need to learn to appreciate the finer foods.” Charles sighs dejectedly as Jake inches towards the door.

“Thanks for today, bud! You’re the best!” Jake calls as he bolts out of the house, the door slamming behind him.

“You forgot the shampoo!” Charles yells back, wrenching open the door to shout at Jake as he hustles down the hallway.

“Not necessary!”

\--

On Sunday, Amy wakes up and allows herself a ten minute lie-in, as she rakes her fingers through her hair and stretches, pulling her soft feather quilt closer around her shoulders.

She’s almost falling back asleep when a knock at her door jolts her back to awake, and she grabs her woolen cardigan, draping it over her shoulders as she shuffles off towards the front door.

“Jake?” she frowns when she opens the door a crack to find him standing on her doorstep, his hands in his pockets and a bag of groceries at his feet.

“Good morning!”

“It’s nine in the morning, I didn’t think you ever got up this early on non-work days.” she frowns, pushing the door closed enough to unlatch the chain as she swings it back open to let Jake in.

“I figured I owed you an apology.”

“What for?” Amy asks, raising an eyebrow as Jake stares at her. And then she remembers that she’s wearing an oversized soft, blue NYPD shirt and a pair of soft pj short shorts (because her legs get so warm buried under all those blankets) and she feels herself blushing.

Which in itself is embarrassing. Especially in front of Jake.

“I didn’t realise you slept in on Sundays.” Jake teases, and Amy rolls her eyes.

“Doesn’t everyone?”

“I had assumed so, until I woke up this morning at eight. Wonders never cease, Ames.” Jake laughs, tearing his eyes away from her and moving into the kitchen.

“What are you doing?”

“Making apology breakfast, for being a jerk friend.” he calls back.

“Can I help?” she pads into the doorway of the kitchen and peers at Jake as he unloads stuff from the bag over her counter.

“No, it’s fine. Go be a couch potato or something. I can make you a drink if you’d like.” he offers, and she grins.

“Isn’t being a couch potato your job? Also, coffee would be good. It’s in this cupboard.” she moves over, reaching up to open the cupboard and grab the tin of coffee. As she does, Jake spins around to put something on the counter under the cupboard she’s reaching up, and he ends up pressed slightly against her back.

Her blush, which had almost faded, comes racing back as she feels his breath drifting across her neck, his hand on her lower back to steady himself and stop her from falling backwards.

They freeze for a moment - although it feels like several minutes as Amy feels the blood rushing in her ears, until Jake stumbles back.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry!” he mumbles, standing back against the counter as she descends from the balls of her feet and puts the coffee tin on the counter.

“It’s okay. I didn’t fall, and you didn’t hurt me.”

“I’m glad.” Jake smiles, and Amy smiles back.

“Okay, well I guess I’ll go be a couch potato.” she jokes, and Jake nods.

“Good idea. Is it okay to serve breakfast on the table?”

“Of course. Place mats are third drawer down, to your left.”

“Cool. Cool cool cool.” Jake digs through her drawers, and Amy turns and heads to her couch. She drags a blanket over herself, glad she keeps on draped perpetually over the back of the cushions as she lies down, adjusting the pillows under her head.

“You never explained why you owed me an apology.” Amy calls, hearing the clatter of pots in the kitchen.

“Being a terrible soulmate. And a bad friend. I shouldn’t have ditched you when Sophia and I started dating. I didn’t even mean to, I totally lost track of things. And I’m sorry.” he moves to stand in the kitchen door frame as he speaks, and Amy sits up on the couch to look at him.

“It’s okay.”

“Really?” he asks, and she scoffs.

“No, you jerk. You were a horrible friend.” she throws a pillow at him and he yelps in surprise, ducking it.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. You can repay me by buying the next six meals when we resume Law and Order nights.”

“Six? Come on, Ames. You’ll make my crushing debt even worse.”

“I know.” she smiles, leaning back onto the couch.

She turns on the television and is flicking between channels when she lands on a music channel, it’s playing a Taylor Swift music video, so she leaves it on and hears Jake not-so-softly signing along to it as he cooks.

The next thing she knows, Jake is waking her up by dangling a bit of bacon under her nose, and she jerks back from it as he bursts into laughter.

“I’m sorry, I literally wanted to make the phrase ‘wake up and smell the bacon’ a reality just once in my life.”

“You’re so weird.” she rolls her eyes, but is grinning as she reaches up and grabs the bacon as Jake is about to lift it to his mouth, snatching it out of his hand and popping it into her mouth.

“Oh my god. I should arrest you right now for theft, but I’ve cooked you breakfast so I’ll let you enjoy that first.” he gestures at the table, and Amy pushes the blanket off herself and sits up. God, it smells amazing.

She gets off the couch and turns to the table and freezes, her eyes taking in all of the food.

“Jake.” she breathes, eyes wide, because Jake Peralta has just left Amy completely stunned, and she has no idea how he managed to pull it off.

“I know it’s not heaps, but I wanted to make up for everything.” Jake shuffles nervously, and Amy sinks into the seat at the table.

There’s orange juice (she strongly suspects Jake has orange soda in his glass because she can hear it fizzing), fresh coffee, sliced up fruit (only in a bowl in front of Amy’s place mat), and on the plate is what appears to be a work of food art - hash browns sit on the bottom of the stack, topped with bacon, which is topped with spinach (again, only on Amy’s plate - she swears Jake is going to go blind from lack of nutrients found in fruit and vegetables), topped with poached eggs and covered in hollandaise sauce.

“Are you kidding me? You made all this?” Amy points at the plate, and Jake nods.

“Amazing, I know. But honestly it’s easier than it seems.”

She picks up her knife and fork, holding them over the food as Jake settled into the chair across from her.

The first bite she takes makes her moan in delight, and she stares across at Jake with wide eyes.

“Does Charles know you can cook like this?”

“He tried to teach me ages ago - which is where I learned most of my tricks, but he thinks I can’t. If he knows I can he’ll stop cooking for me, and Ames, that’s just a terrible thought!”

Amy snorts, taking a gulp of her coffee as Jake grins at her.

“You’re terrible.”

“I know. It’s great.” Jake winks, and Amy just laughs.

\--

After they finish breakfast, Amy grabs the plates before Jake can protest and races him into the kitchen, their laughter echoing around her apartment as she takes in the state of it.

“I’m surprised.”

“Oh really?”

“It doesn’t look like anything’s exploded.”

“I only used two pans - one to cook the bacon, hash browns and spinach in, and one to poach the eggs. The rest was store bought.” he grins, and she laughs.

“Well, I’m impressed. You have blown me away, Jake Peralta.”

“I am forever storing that compliment for later taunting in an argument.”

“Of course.” Amy stacks the plates in the dishwasher, setting the cycle as Jake stares at her.

“Wait, do dishwashers actually wash dishes? I thought they just stored dirty plates out of sight until you bought new ones and could throw them away.”

“Jake! Gross!”

“Kidding. Maybe. Did you record Law and Order, by any chance?”

“I might have.”

“Would it be okay if we watched it, or would you like me to go?” Jake asks tentatively, and Amy shrugs.

“Sure.”

They settle onto the couch and blast through the first four episodes quickly, Jake shouting theories and criticisms at the Tv, Amy’s feet tucked under his leg to keep warm as they watch. Once the fourth episode ends, Amy pauses to grab a glass of water and untangles herself from the couch, leaving Jake sitting there.

“Hey, Ames?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you know your soulmate notebook is tucked into the couch cushions?” he asks, and she nods before she realises he can’t see her.

“Yep.”

“Remember the letter about John McClane, the goldfish?”

“I do.” Amy giggles, hearing Jake chuckling.

“He died like a hero. I should re-read that letter.”

“He did. And you should.” Amy replies, hearing the rustling of pages, and then silence.

“Wait, no!” Amy turns off the tap rapidly, darting out of the kitchen and almost smacking into the dining table. But it’s too late. Jake is already looking at the very last note she wrote, the book having flipped open to that point.

She wants the floor to open up and swallow her, and she feels her heart pounding as she stares at him reading the short letter.

“Ames.” Jake tears his eyes off the page and looks up at her, and she feels her face flushing red.

She leans forward and grabs the book out of his hands, slamming it shut and clutching it to her chest.

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing!”

“I have to go to the bathroom!” she blurts out, taking off towards it with her notebook. She shuts the door and sinks down against the side of the bathtub, her breathing growing quick as she feels her hands shaking.

She never imagined Jake would actually read her letter confessing her feelings, and she’s pretty sure that she’s just stuffed up whatever kind of friendship she and Jake have by making it stupid awkward.

She strains to hear what’s going on outside the bathroom, waiting for the slam of her front door but it never happens.

Instead she hears footsteps padding towards the bathroom.

“Amy?” Jake’s voice comes from the other side of the door, and Amy hears him knock.

“Occupied.” she replies weakly, and he snorts.

“Can I come in, or are you actually using the bathroom and not freaking out?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe I can come in, or maybe you’re using it?” he asks, and she can hear the laughter in his voice.

“Maybe you can come in.”

The door opens slowly a second later, and Jake looks down at her huddled on the floor as he steps into the space, sinking down into a crouch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks softly, and she nods.

“We should. Firstly, I’m sorry that I’ve now made things a billion times more awkward.”

“Ames, you haven’t.” Jake sinks down to sit on the floor opposite her, their knees touching, and she scoffs.

“I wrote you a letter that I thought you wouldn’t read for ages telling you that I liked you romantically, while you’re in a relationship with someone else. If that isn’t awkward, I don’t know what is.”

“Hitchcock trying to shove his whole fist in his mouth is awkward. Not you.” Jake offers, and Amy laughs.

“That was horrifying.”

“I know, right? And he actually succeeded! But his fist got stuck.”

Amy’s laughter increases, and she wipes a tear from her eye as Jake smiles at her.

“Feel better?”

“Somewhat. But you don’t owe me anything.”

“I do. Because I ignored our weekly routine for dates with Sophia, and I let our friendship lapse because I was too busy spending heaps of time with my ex-girlfriend.”

“Ex?”

“Yeah, we broke up yesterday. It was pretty bad, to be honest, but I could see it coming. We just weren’t compatible in the long run. And you know, I kind of liked you but was too nervous to say anything.”

“You were?” Amy’s gaze darts up to meet his, and he nods.

“I was. Little did I know, you actually did have it bad for me and were also too nervous to say anything.”

“Oh my god, you are literally insufferable.”

“And yet you like me.” Jake laughed as Amy shoved him, catching her hand in his and pulling her a little closer.

“I might.” Amy rolled her eyes, her breath catching at how close Jake was. He swallows, the sound audible in the otherwise silence and his eyes flicker down to her lips for a second.

“Well, then. Is it okay if I kiss you now?” he whispers, and she nods as if in a haze, her other hand reaching out to pull Jake closer as he moves towards her.

Their lips meet, and Amy feels a spark of warmth run down her spine and settle in her stomach as Jake’s hands slide around to rest on her back. One of her hands curls into his hair, and she feels his lips curl against hers in a small smile as she does.

When they pull apart, Jake lets his forehead rest against hers as his fingers come up to gently stroke her cheek.

“Wow.”

“That better be a good wow.” Amy laughs, and Jake nods.

“I’d give it a ten out of ten.”

“I can’t believe you’re rating that moment.”

“I can’t believe you’re not admitting how turned on you are by that.”

“Oh shut up!” Amy laughs, going to shove him again, but Jake catches her hands in his and leans forward to press their lips together again.

“I’m glad I stumbled across that note.” he admits when the kiss finishes, and Amy blushes.

“It was never meant to come to anything.”

“Well, you can’t give back breakfast but you can return the kisses. I take payment in full, in the form of a make-out session on your couch.”

“That’s a pretty good deal.” Amy laughs as Jake stands, taking the hand her offers her and letting him pull her up. He pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her body as she curls into his warmth.

He tilts his head down to look at her, a smile spreading across his face as he presses a kiss to the tip of her nose.

“Sold.” he leans down to kiss her again, the laughter on her lips dying as he does.

“Shall we continue our marathon?” Jake asks, and Amy smiles.

“I’d love to. I have to actually use the bathroom now.” Amy hands Jake her book as he laughs.

“Okay. I’ll leave this on the table.”

“Thanks.” Amy blows him a kiss as she shuts the bathroom door, catching a glimpse of his elated face right before she does.

When she comes out of the bathroom, Jake has closed the blinds a little to cut the glare of the sun coming through the windows, and she notices that her notebook is sitting on the table - and it’s spine is glowing silver. Her heart leaps up as she reaches for it, aware that Jake is casually pretending to not watch her over the back of the couch as he lines up the next episode of Law and Order.

Flipping it open, Amy reads the note and immediately smiles, her face lighting up as she turns to Jake.

_Amy, I’m so glad you’re my soulmate. I couldn’t have asked for, or picked a better person than you. I really like you too, romantic stylez._

“You are a totally adorable dork.” she laughs, and he just grins and opens his arms as she approaches the couch.

“I am. But I’m your dork.”

“You are.” Amy sighs happily, sitting in between Jake’s legs and leaning against his chest as he pulls the blanket up around them.

“Oh my god, your feet are freezing! Ames, how do you get so cold?!”

“I don’t know.” she frowns, going to move her feet away from where they’re tucked under Jake’s ankles, but he pins them in place gently.

“Good thing you have me to warm them up. I’ll never let your feet go cold again during a cuddle session, I promise.”

“My hero.” Amy laughs, looking up at Jake from where her head is nestled on his shoulder.

“I don’t know about that. I’ve seen you kick in a door before, it’s pretty intimidating.” Jake teases, pressing a soft kiss to her lips as he wraps his arms around her.

When they pull apart Amy hits play, snuggling further down into Jake as they hum along to the opening music, and she thinks that this might be the warmest she’s ever been. And she loves it.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to yell at me for how long this is (sorry not sorry it wouldn't stop) hit me up I'm tiadorable on tumblr. xo


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